both ends, making mama proud and bionic tooth

HOF took the day off so that I could go to some doctors appointments today. First up this morning was the gyno. Fun. I haven't been to one since we moved, so it was a new guy. You know how it goes. Hi there, how you doing, get naked and let me look at your twat. As I said, fun.

And it was so cold in there. I mean really cold. So the dude comes in and gives me the longest ninny exam EVER. It was taking so long that I finally said, "my husband doesn't even spend that much time there" and he moved on. 'Cause I'm all about trying to break the awkward silence of the first meeting and ninny touching.

After he moved on to the pelvic exam... isn't that just so much fun to say..... I (without conscience thought) kept closing my knees slightly. Every time he would come back to that area he would have to ask me to open up my legs more. Finally I said, "I am stark naked in front of a complete stranger-- I'm just trying to make my Mama proud."

But good news-- it's all in working order or something. Although he did ask me to get some kind of blood test to see if I have a pituitary tumor. The dude is smoking crack! But he said it would make him feel better. And, well, I'm all about making the crack smoking doc feel good.

Next I had to go back to do the follow up for my root canal. I, again, panicked a little. Which seems to really annoy the dentist. I told her I'm not scared of the dentist, but I am scared of being confined. I just can't stand being in that chair and not being able to get up and having people all in my face.... it all just freaks me out! What is interesting though, is every time I open up about it a different nurse admits that they have anxiety attacks, too. And the way they say it and the way they ask me questions, makes me think that they haven't told others about it. Which I spent years not telling people about it. I'm sure that people thought I had an eating disorder. As an adult I got down to 65 pounds, simply from anxiety. It is such a hateful disorder. I am so sad for those nurses.

Sorry- I got off the subject. Anyway, when I was there last, I had to pick the type of filling or whatever they call it. The root canal was for the very last tooth on the bottom, so I chose the metal one. It was much cheaper and this was already costing me over $600. Plus it was the very back of my mouth and it was just the top-- it's not like it was the whole tooth. Well, guess what! It's the WHOLE tooth! I have an entire metal tooth in my mouth. It is crazy weird looking. I told HOF that I feel like I have a bionic tooth! He said I look like "Jaws" from 007.

It has been a long day that has left me drained. And as soon as I put Punter to bed he started vomiting. Which almost always means he is coming down with a cold. I hope not!

Off to put my bionic tooth to bed!