I feel as if I am moving at the speed of light these days. (And yes, I realize all my posts are about being busy lately-- but it's my blog. And that is what is going on with me right now.)
I'm not complaining or anything. At least I have the good fortune to be able to accomplish all that I am doing right now. I just feel as if I can't catch my breath. It is a constant rush from one place to another to another. to another. Or one activity to another. I am rushing to my mom's in the morning, cutting is very close to my next appointment and rushing back, answering close to 200 emails daily regarding my charity, making/ receiving numerous phone calls a day about my charity, trying to prepare for my friend's shower, trying to prepare for the kids' Halloween party. It is just one constant thing after another. I wake in the morning in a rush and am rushing right up until midnight or so, where I collapse into the bed in exhaustion--- only to get up the next day and start over.
Oh, and somewhere in there I am trying to be a good wife, a good mother and a good friend. And as heartbreaking as it is-- this is where I fall short right now.
Luckily this is only temporary. And this year I am leaving it behind! YEA! This is the last year I put myself through this.
And as happy as I am to give it up-- it is also incredibly hard. I am so passionate about my charity. so passionate. And I am scared for it's future. Especially after I leave. It is being taken over by people with a corporate vision. I feel like we are losing the culture of the event. The heart of it. It will become another corporate shill.
But, at the same time, I have a duty to my family and myself. It has not been fair to them for me to do this for as long as I have. It certainly isn't fair for me to continue.
And while it is hard for me to give up what is essentially my identity--- it will be a huge relief. I draw so much pride from telling people this is what I do. I will have to learn to draw just as much pride from saying that I am mom. That is what I do. I am lucky to be able to stay home with him. And, admittedly, right now I'm not winning any awards-- but, I'm usually pretty good at it.
And he doesn't send me 200 emails a day.
Friday, October 3, 2008
the speed of light....
Posted by Frannie at 8:33 AM
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6 comments:
You say this each year!!!! lol I'm sooooooooooo glad you are going to finally give it up! =) It takes soooooo much out of you!!!! You know that!!! It's not good for your health...says Dr. Jeannie!!! You and your family come first!!! They need you!!!! You are a GREAT mom and wife! Regardless how busy you are I know you aren't slacking!!! =) Your to good at what you do!!!
Hah, I'm glad I'm not the only one who remembers you saying "This is the last year!!" last year as well!
Hang in there, chicky. The event and parties will be over soon. Until Christmas, anyway.
Take care of yourself & your beautiful family!!
I know what it's like to be passionate about something, and having a hard time letting go. You have done such a great job on your charity, you should be proud!
I always tell myself it's better to be busy than to have nothing to do. And by the sound of it, you are a very busy woman these days!!!
So much is happening in my life right now, that I'm too tired to even blog about it... maybe soon... But I do read your blog from time to time to keep up:-)
It's hard to give up something you are passionate about, I totally understand that! I could not agree with you more.
You should be very proud of all you've done for your charity, and I'm sure your family is over the moon about you - even if you are busy, busy these days!
Echoing everyone else you should be proud about what you've done so far and it must be so hard to let it go into other hands, especially when you don't feel those hands are safe ones.
Glad your still finding time to blog despite the busyness :)
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